Healthy Dose Of Reality

Nothing gives you a "reality" check like a good, solid "health" scare...whether it be yourself or a parent or especially a child. Recently, it was my own that got me re-evaluating where I stood with God and my life. About three weeks ago, I discovered a lump in my neck. It had been there for quite some time but had grown in size considerably and was now tender and sore. I thought "Oh Great. Now it will *have* to be looked at." So, I didn't mess around...not with MY history. I called the surgeon's office and told the gal quite frankly..."I have a lump and I want it removed." She was ever so gracious and empathetic. I told her about my history of Melanoma etc...etc...and to get me in asap because we all know too well how the mind "works". I knew I'd be planning my funeral before the week was over. I had an appt a week out from that very phone call. So, to make a long story short, I saw Dr. Garcia...the new surgeon in town. Dr. Garcia came with 16 years of experience and I felt confident he probably knew what he was talking about. He told me the lump was more than likely an inflamed lymph node and that I should keep an eye on it...take some Ibuprofen. He was more than willing, however, to take it out if that's what I wanted. I wasn't sure in that moment EXACTLY what I wanted. I liked the idea of the "wait and see" approach. I figured...I can *always* have it taken out later if I change my mind. I really liked the fact, too, that the Dr. wasn't anxious to start cutting on me! The idea of someone yanking out a lymph node for no reason didn't sit well with me. God gave us lymph nodes for a reason, right?? LOL!! Sooo...needless to say, I am waiting and I am seeing. :) I am taking Motrin 2-3 times a day and keeping a very close eye on "it". I have a follow up appointment on the 15th. If the lump is still there...I may have him just take it out. That's really the only way to know for sure whether something is malignant or not. This I know to be true! If it does come down to taking it out...I will be heavily sedated...mark my words! Soooooo...I hope my "melanoma friends" out there don't freak out when they read this. I promise to have the lump removed if and when the time comes. I already know all the stats and risks yada, yada, yada. This is my plan and I'm sticking to it! I really feel at peace with my decision and I know the odds of my melanoma coming back are zero to none...wait...wouldn't those be the same thing? Zero? None?? Huh?!? LOL!!!

Anyway, so after all of this "drama" I was getting back to a normal life. Heck, we even had a week of sunshine to take my mind off of it all. Life was good and we didn't seem to have a care in the world. Then ZAP! Back to reality once again TODAY when my baby sister calls me with "news". I about had a heart-attack. It's that *one* phone call you just KNOW you are going to get when you live on an island 1000 miles away from "home". She was calling to tell me that my mother "passed out" at work today. Unbeknownst to ME...not only did she pass out but she got right back up and started working again!!! She is SO much like ME...or is it vice-a-versa??? I would have done the same...making sure my job was taken care of. Anyway...she started not feeling well so she called a friend to drive her to the E.R. Sure enough...they started doing all kinds of stuff. Apparently, it might have something to do with her heart. Crystal (the baby of the family) said that my mom felt "heart palpitations" right before she went down. Thank the Lord she didn't hit her noggin on the way down!! Anyway, so she's in the hospital tonight. She will have a stress test on her heart in the a.m. I am PRAYING they will find the problem and be able to FIX HER!!! This has been so stressful...I can't even tell you. Nothing serious has EVER happened to my parents and to be quite frank...I was hoping we would go a LONG time before something did. Like I said earlier...re-evaluating EVERYTHING. Sigh. I will be going to God tonight with a LOT of questions. All I can do is hope I get answers. I am just SO grateful He has watched out for us like He has. Between her and I....it could have been a LOT worse. (She's probably going to kill me for putting this on my blog by the way.......Sigh.)

So, we are both waiting and seeing. I will keep you posted on both of us. I'm more concerned about mom, tho. I can handle anything that comes MY way....it's much easier to be the one going through the valley. Much harder to watch those you love go thru stuff. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a total control freak. This is something that drives me CRAZY in times like this!!

Not much else is happening. I am counting the days until we go south...we really need a vacation!! And, of course, in light of everything I will want to see my mother with my OWN eyes and give her the biggest hug of her life!!

Thanks for listening...reading...praying! This is a great place to "vent" and I appreciate you all so much. On a lighter note...Don't forget...Mother's Day is Sunday!!!! :)

Love and Peace~ Nan XOX

P.S. I heard my other sister, Becky, may be going into labor. Pray for her, too!! She needs it!